Groaners

Groaner: Retiring Cop

A detective who spent his entire career in plain clothes
quit the police force and bought a farm.

"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police chief
asked the farmer-to-be.

"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.

"Why carrots and potatoes?" asked the chief.

"Because," answered the ex-detective, "I'm very fond of
undercover crops."

Growing up, our family physician was also a family friend. His wife was very buxom, which was the word used for a woman with well-endowed mammary tissue.

The joke she told us all one night at a dinner party painted a vivid picture of her on my memory. There had been a man, reported in our small town, who walked up behind women and 'goosed' them and then got away quickly without being caught or identified.

Well, Dorothea Donoho, trapped him. She recounted that upon feeling his hand sliding up under her skirt, she waited just long enough for him to start 'goosing', when she "tightened up her buttocks and proceeded to march him right down to the police station." She retold the tale with complete animation of the event, showing how she walked with her prisoner entrapped behind her. With a wiggle accentuating her slender waist, all the tissue above her belt bounced most vigorously, while her lower half was intensely rigid in purpose to not let go.